Comments for Midwestern Gothic

Comment on Special Report: I hate California by northwestern goth

northwestern goth — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 13:32:42 +0000

I live in a guardian management apartment in oregon. they banned smoking here, with only 6 months to force old smokers to quit or move. This is low income housing so hardly anyone can afford to move even though we want to. People have to go out in the street to smoke, the state blesses this and even is in cahoots with them, did a study, etc . we are their captive guinea pigs.
Guardian is trying to save money on fire insurance, they don’t care about people’s health, i’m sure.
but the thing with smoke is, people smoke in groups right outside your patio door, on their deck; and when it’s hot out and you have to have your door open, window etc, their smoke comes billowing in. Thus is the nature of sardine can apartments. too close for comfort. so people cannot live normally, they are essentially sharing a house with other people, who live three feet away from their door etc. (should have smoking/ nonsmoking sections).
We also had a couple of barkdust fires right close to the building, in the dry summer. when people leave someone’s apartment they just throw their cigarette butts in the flower beds. They should have just watered everything to keep it wet and green in the heat.
There are other ways of phasing in no smoking ….
…. i absolutely cannot stand guardian for plenty of other reasons, but, this characteristic, VERY controlling measure is not the worst by any means.
They hiked our rent by one to several hundred dollars, though the place is substandard and supposedly HUD low income housing.
Guardian took over a huge low income property in portland and raised the rents very high making many people move , some became homeless, ETC. so you see it is the “evil jerks” in charge that do those things that way, not decent caring people.
And they are here too, not just california.

Comment on Time Travel TV Show Madness! by CGB

CGB — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:46:21 +0000

Holy smokes! I was CERTAIN the above was written by Matt because I know he has the time. Now I know that you too, Robbie, have WAY TOO MUCH time available. It’s ok though, because I like spending my time reading this stuff!

Comment on With a son named ‘Adolph Hitler’, what can go wrong? by Linda

Linda — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:30:52 +0000

I loved this story too!!!
But did you see the part where they eventually got the cake decorated … at Wal-mart! Of course!

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Quantum Leap vs. The Pretender by Love Muscle

Love Muscle — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:24:46 +0000

i had a dream last night that the Pretender was renewed for a new season…i woke up with wood.

Comment on Congressional football by CGB

CGB — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 20:23:20 +0000

Shoot; I thought you were going to write that some Congressmen have sponsored a bill to kick the Detroit Lions out of the NFL! Will you please look into this? There would be a ton of support for this up here in Michigan and since the Lions are a laughing stock across the nation every Congressman representing the states would be able to get this passed.
At the very least they could pass a bill forcing William Clay Ford to sell the team to an owner who knows what he’s doing, would hire leadership that can evaluate talent, hire a coach who knows the game, and they could stay in the league………..and………..maybe one day win some sort of a title. (other than the title of worst team of all time)

Comment on Minnesota recounts by CGB

CGB — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:17:03 +0000

I didn’t know you watched Coach. Must have done so in college. - your dad.

Comment on The most important anniversary…ever by CGB

CGB — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:37:58 +0000

I’ll drink to that!

Comment on Way Back When: Jesse and the Rippers by allison

allison — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:10:02 +0000

HAHAHAHA

Comment on Way Back When: Jesse and the Rippers by Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:44:20 +0000

:swoon:

Comment on A thought: Archie and Jughead must die! by Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:37:21 +0000

You forgot the Lockharts - you can always count on one bad joke about Loretta’s cooking, one where the husband is carousing with a blond bimbo (drunk, no less), one where the husband makes a wisecrack about her singing, and one where Loretta goes shopping.

How can someone come up with 365 gags a year for each of those scenarios?

Comment on Film Snob: Teen Wolf by Brian

Brian — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:42:17 +0000

Two things I love about this movie:

1.) How the character of Chubby fit into his basketball uniform, not to mention how he was even on a high school basketball team.

2.) I’m not the first one to say this, but Coach Finstock’s immortal line: “There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese” is one of the best ever.

Comment on Way Back When: Jesse and the Rippers by Love Muscle

Love Muscle — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:26:31 +0000

uncle Jessy sleeping in beautiful, cloudy white bed = erection

Comment on Welcome…(drum roll)…Jesse! by lindsay

lindsay — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:18:49 +0000

Jesse! - I won’t lie - me and a friend would purposely go to Harper’s to see you play in college. We were minor groupies for about 2 months. Rob got a kick out of that when I made the connection…

-Lindsay (Nick’s wife)

Comment on Yet another frivolous lawsuit! Rejoice! by Ryan

Ryan — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 20:02:32 +0000

“we belong to the lord” = “Be God’s”. I assume they don’t put an apostrophe on a license plate….don’t be dense Rob.

Comment on Oh, Australia by Robby

Robby — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:17:12 +0000

This begs the question: what did you have for lunch that has you so afraid?

Comment on More food news by CGB

CGB — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:41:17 +0000

mmmmmmmm…yummy! I do the salad thing; have not had beets on sandwhiches yet. Ice cream? I’ll pass; beets aren’t fruity enough….same reason I would not put them on cereal, or with cottage cheese. Have you tried them on cereal yet Matt?

Comment on It’s really not that bad by Nick

Nick — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:03:32 +0000

Spam is a delicacy in Hawaii, and quite delicious with mustard on toast…

Comment on Gross…and a little bit frightening by CGB

CGB — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:07:10 +0000

Right on Matt!

Comment on Offices: big fat waste of space? by Jef

Jef — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:10:12 +0000

I just saw you admit that spending moneys on multiple blackberries was worthwhile. YES!

Comment on Offices: big fat waste of space? by CGB

CGB — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:22:07 +0000

As I read this I am logged into my work network from home, and have taken a break to watch ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philladelphia’! Yes, working from home has many advantages.

Comment on This just in… by Matt

Matt — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 01:45:59 +0000

Oh man. Did he get injured filming Lethal Weapon 7: Back in the Habit?

Comment on Film Snob: Teen Wolf by Korean Kozma

Korean Kozma — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 11:26:52 +0000

Hey man,
What about the scene in the garage where Styles asks Scott to use his super dog sniffing ability to help his brother’s stash….I mean come’on. It’s not as great as the van surfing scene but still worth a mentions. And what about the great hype-but have yet to see it-where an extra gets totally nude after they win the big basketball game….that should definitely be worth a mention. Just thought you should know.

Comment on Bad news and good news by CGB

CGB — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:20:06 +0000

well Matt; I agree about politicians not doing a whole lot by themselves for local/state economic climate, but Jenny has not done much positive for the great lake state, and it just keeps getting worse. So why even have a governor?
She did help get a ton of tax breaks for filmmakers though, so you guys and Robby need to get up here and make a movie!

Comment on World Series Musical Update by Brian

Brian — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:26:01 +0000

Nuh-uh you are.

Comment on World Series Musical Update by Jack Roverson

Jack Roverson — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:47:12 +0000

You’re a commie-pinko

Comment on And the 44th president of the United States of America is… by Love Muscle

Love Muscle — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:15:49 +0000

his nomination and eventual election were secured entirely by the trans-gender population of Lake Wobegon and their sophisticated vote stealing scheme.

Comment on Happy Halloween, Midwestern Gothic style! by Matt

Matt — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:40:01 +0000

Who went as the port-a-john? They stole my idea.

Comment on If you didn’t have arachnophobia before… by Thea

Thea — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:32:32 +0000

I can’t even tell where the face of the spider is? No idea what’s going on in that pic, but it’s freaky =\

Comment on Matt bakes a cake by ali

ali — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 12:46:06 +0000

awe! it still tasted good! more like a brownie than cake, but still good!

Comment on Welcome back! by CGB

CGB — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:46:57 +0000

Four guys in front of something…nice.
Looks like an album cover!
You also could be protecting the jewels as some dude is getting ready for a free kick.

Comment on You may be a doctor, but you’re no Doktor by Jenn Butler

Jenn Butler — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:54:10 +0000

Good to see Midwestern Gothic is back fellas. I must comment on this article, because I have to admit that weisswurst along with a pretzel and honey mustard(almost identical to that picture)was my first meal in Germany…and I tried really hard not to vomit while getting it down. Was just trying to hang with the locals!

Comment on Special Report: I hate California by Ryan

Ryan — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:19:02 +0000

Ok after reviewing my post, I meant “governor” not “mayor”

Comment on Special Report: I hate California by Ryan

Ryan — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:18:09 +0000

Good article. You forgot to mention the fact that they elected a bodybuilder for mayor who played chracters such as “Conan the Barbarian” and a kindergarden cop

Comment on Good morning, Incheon! by lindsay

lindsay — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:01:20 +0000

are you there yet?!

Comment on ‘Supplement’al living by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 01:51:18 +0000

and to think you recommended i get some when i started to feel sick
good thing i never listen you…

Comment on ‘Supplement’al living by Nick

Nick — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:57:04 +0000

You can claim up to 6 with no receipts. Lindsay has $42 coming.

Comment on Easter candy gone bad by Wildcat

Wildcat — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:14:31 +0000

What the shit are you doing buying a chocolate marshmallow bunny… what are you 12?

Comment on Easter candy gone bad by Matt

Matt — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:05:07 +0000

It looks like the backside to me. That rabbit is mooning you. How does that make you feel?

Comment on Easter candy gone bad by Brandon

Brandon — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:53:09 +0000

I looks like something satan himself would have created, but i have to agree with kimberly….it is delicious

Comment on Easter candy gone bad by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:10:25 +0000

ears on balls or not, it’s still the most delicious thing i’ve ever had in my mouth

zing!

Comment on President Beer? by allison

allison — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:43:16 +0000

haha, nice matt…

Comment on Ski Dubai by Nick

Nick — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:43:54 +0000

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

I took 2nd in the 5th grade geography bee.

Comment on Ski Dubai by Matt

Matt — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:36:49 +0000

Hey, Mr. Geography, Dubai is not in Saudi Arabia.

Comment on Oh how I hate New Jersey (state) by Nate

Nate — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:03:19 +0000

Admit it, it’s your dream to be able to go to a club shirtless.

Comment on Uh, oh! My secret life of crime has been discovered! by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 06:11:42 +0000

only 2 in 8?

pansy

Comment on Oh how I hate New Jersey (state) by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 06:09:34 +0000

i went to new jersey/new york over the summer and, if you recall, almost died there.

even in my weakened state i was horrified when i opened my eyes from a dramamin induced sleep and saw random people pumping gas into my car.

and what’s the deal with the no ice cream law?
i would seriously kill myself

Comment on Oh how I hate New Jersey (state) by andrea

andrea — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:48:00 +0000

I share the hate with new jersey. Besides agreeing with the gas law it is for other reasons…

they fry their grilled cheese sandwiches in MAYO at the diners.
and what about those “jug handles” yes that’s what they call their ridiculously confusing u-turns that I will not even attempt to describe.

Comment on Uh, oh! My secret life of crime has been discovered! by jeff

jeff — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:22:08 +0000

reported

Comment on RIP: Heath Ledger by lindsay

lindsay — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:09:41 +0000

that was STEPHANIE, jeff! gosh!

Comment on An alternative to the Super Bowl: Puppy Bowl IV by matt

matt — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:58:05 +0000

At the end of the clip, it says the bowl is played from 3-11 pm. Does Animal Planet really show puppies running around a mini football field for 8 straight hours?

Comment on Lost and Found: Interview with Heath Ledger by matt

matt — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:20:20 +0000

I miss Blake. Poor Blake.

Comment on An alternative to the Super Bowl: Puppy Bowl IV by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:20:44 +0000

i would say that this is the greatest program ever invented but there is one drawback that i found…i can’t watch for a long period without throwing up all over myself.

hopefully by next year, they’ll have found a way to fix that…

Comment on An alternative to the Super Bowl: Puppy Bowl IV by allison

allison — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 05:08:39 +0000

holy crap, that was the most adorable thing i have ever seen in my entire life.

Comment on Nick Thoughts: Superbowl XLII by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:37:00 +0000

Thank goodness Brady and Maroney helped me wipe the floor with you in Fantasy football.

Go Pats!

Comment on RIP: Heath Ledger by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:59:32 +0000

How rude!

Comment on An alternative to the Super Bowl: Puppy Bowl IV by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:59:12 +0000

You might enjoy the superbowl more if you knew what the rules of football were, communist.

Comment on Oh, how nifty! Lego bricks turn fifty! by Matt

Matt — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 18:10:12 +0000

Obviously, the best Lego-related website is The Brick Testament. http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Comment on Film Snob: Multiplicity by Becky Kruisenga

Becky Kruisenga — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 16:40:08 +0000

I will Jack.

Comment on RIP: Heath Ledger by Nick

Nick — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 16:32:10 +0000

…in his overpriced Manhattan apartment?

Owned by Mary Kate Olsen.

Comment on Film Snob: Multiplicity by Jack

Jack — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:42:31 +0000

kristen please touch me in places i can’t talk about on this forum.

Comment on Film Snob: Multiplicity by Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:23:03 +0000

High fives for the following:
Abbreving Michael Keaton to MK
Making Lean Cuisines noteworthy

Even though Andie MacDowell is terrible at life and acting, not necessarily in that order as she’s done so many hair color commercials its hard to keep track, I think it’s kind of you to mention her.

“She touched my puppy, Steve!”

Comment on Headphones? Headphones Around the Office? by Nick

Nick — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:02:22 +0000

I wear an earbud, in the ear away from my cubicle door. If someone sees you in those headphones, they will think you’re not approachable. As much as I don’t like talking to people at work, it defeats the point of being at work, attainable to people that need you to do a job.

Comment on Headphones? Headphones Around the Office? by Robby

Robby — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:13:15 +0000

First of all, Jack, you more than most should know that listening to your co-workers drone on can cause some forms of cancer to form.

I applaud his bravery.

Comment on Coffee and Cigarettes - No, not the Jim Jarmusch “film” by nunya biznass

nunya biznass — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:43:50 +0000

what about Cigarettes & Coffee by Paul Thomas Anderson?

Comment on Poop Particles by lindsay

lindsay — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:23:08 +0000

Nick frequenly leaves the house without brushing his teeth. Even worse, after having eaten breakfast cereal with milk. MILK! What’s worse than milk breath? Herpes, maybe.

Anywho, I chastise Nick all the time for his oral hygiene offense. “Well, at least take a toothbrush and toothpaste with you to work!”

“No a fucking chance. I’ll get poop particles in my mouth!”

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by lindsay

lindsay — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:20:16 +0000

yes jef! thanks for researching

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:46:39 +0000

btw, Faulkner made Oprah’s book club in 2005. Cue head explosion.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Robby

Robby — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:22:12 +0000

Look. It’s a good book and it’s not even mine and suck it!

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:20:48 +0000

Isn’t the kite runner about a young boy who gets molested by a kite monster from the Himalayas?

PS. I spy an “Oprah’s Book Club” sticker in Rob’s Apartment on “The Road”, what do you spy?

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Rob(ert)

Rob(ert) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:23:02 +0000

Well, that just goes to show why Oprah sucks ass. She nominates things based on whatever face her magical ten-sided die shows and that’s that.

What a silly ass.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Nick

Nick — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:18:07 +0000

I just finished “The Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follett. It’s garbage. Oprah put it in her book club, and now it’s billion dollar garbage, with everyone and their mother telling a neighbor to read it.

Point of my point, if they make a movie (inevitably), please write a similar article.

(I read the book because I enjoy historical fiction)

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Rob(ert)

Rob(ert) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:04:02 +0000

Well, in fairness, Faulkner was one of the best writers to ever grace the literate world. And second, it’s not that I wouldn’t read it, it just doesn’t particularly strike me as something I want to read.

Again, there are lots of very well written (and just as many poorly written) books I have no interest in whatsoever. This falls in that category.

And I do sing “I’m a writer!” every morning in the shower. Boohyah.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Nick

Nick — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:37:26 +0000

And prancing around singing “I’m a writer, I’m a writer”.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by Nick

Nick — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:36:31 +0000

I’ve read “The Kite Runner”, and it’s a well written, thought provoking book. Well worth my time, and the movie will be worth a $4 rental.

Neither of you will read it for the following reasons: Matt is too busy pretentiously reading history books, and Rob’s too busy reading Faulkner and criticizing anything mainstream.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Interested in seeing Kite Runner? by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 04:43:12 +0000

i’ve never flown a kite in my 21 years on this earth
but i have yet to accomplish anything of any real significance…

am i the living contradiction to this post or just a lazy bum?

sit on THAT…

Comment on Interesting Individuals: The 5 Minute Piss Pal by Jack

Jack — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:15:42 +0000

who wouldn’t baby. but i am married you know. however you were hot in 1996, god what happened?

Comment on Interesting Individuals: The 5 Minute Piss Pal by Becky Kruisenga

Becky Kruisenga — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:14:58 +0000

Jack is so hot I want to have his babies.

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: Scientology -or- Tom Cruise and L. Ron Hubbard sitting in a tree by Megan

Megan — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 19:25:16 +0000

What happened to a cold day in hell before you would capitalize Scientology? Oh, you conformist.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Pie or Cake? by Nick

Nick — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 13:35:42 +0000

Cake has a band named after it. Enough said.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Pie or Cake? by Nick

Nick — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 13:35:11 +0000

Cake.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Pie or Cake? by Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:14:06 +0000

I have to concur, cake is where it’s at.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Pie or Cake? by kimberly

kimberly — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 21:48:38 +0000

fine then…
you can have your precious pie, MORE CAKE FOR ME!

Comment on Special Report: From G-Rap to O-titty, Midwestern Gothic goes in search of what makes Oliver Paipoonge so “great” by Matt

Matt — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 20:01:10 +0000

Do you have any more pictures from the cruise? Please forward.

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Tiger attacks and national security by kimberly

kimberly — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:13:56 +0000

i hope they don’t build new enclosures…

i won’t be able to scamper in and hug all the animals

Comment on Point/Counterpoint: Tiger attacks and national security by Ryan

Ryan — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:44:44 +0000

I am now dumber for having read this exchange. I blame you both.

Comment on Happy (belated) New Year! by lindsay

lindsay — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:59:11 +0000

YES

Comment on Holiday un-gift guide 2007 by Kim

Kim — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:25:41 +0000

Robby!! I didn’t know you have a blog! I will add it to my feed. And I have to admit…those nut & bolt shakers are just as adorable as you are! Awwwwwwwww.

And if you ever make it back out to LA, I will have a salmon nigiri pillow roll just WAITING for your curly head to graze it! Nothing but the finest for you!

Comment on You’re growns up and you’re growns up and you’re growns up! by lindsay

lindsay — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:57:38 +0000

Ew, that guy is such a chump! (Enough of a chump to warrant a 2nd comment in less than two minutes.)

And that girl is a Tiffany-Amber Thiessen wanna-be like whoa.

Comment on You’re growns up and you’re growns up and you’re growns up! by lindsay

lindsay — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:56:34 +0000

What was the original picture? Please tell me it was Peggy and Al Bundy. Please.

Comment on You’re growns up and you’re growns up and you’re growns up! by jeff

jeff — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:34:50 +0000

I liked the first picture you had better.

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: Mormonism by Ryan

Ryan — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 08:17:21 +0000

What the fuck did black people ever do to Elohim? They were neutral…and that is bad? Muthafucka.

Comment on A world in peril: The helium shortage by Isela

Isela — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 21:05:26 +0000

First I wanna say I am sorry to hear the writer of this article was so poor in his childhood that his white trash family could not afford him a simple balloon, which obiviously left him bitter and unable to see the simple joys of life, such as a mother buying her child a balloon just for the simple joy it will bring her child. The writer (if you wanna call it that) has not gotten over his childhood trauma. There is a whole industry of people who make a living from balloon sales, decorators that make memories at weddings, cottillions, baptisms, 1st birthday partys,etc. Nothing the bitter writer of the article would know anything about as I am sure he is single and staying that way. We are all very affected by the shortage of helium as we will see a whole industry dissapear, oh and F.Y.I. balloon animals are not made with helium, do your research for god’s sake! They are made with air, maybe the writer of the above article can donate his head for a lifetime supply of it, I am sure if we use the air in his head we will never have a shortage of it!

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: Mormonism by Linda

Linda — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 20:49:53 +0000

But you forgot to mention *why* Lucifer lost his bid and had the falling out (literally?) with Jesus and Heavenly Father. And that part’s so great. Lucifer wanted to make everyone do good things all the time on Earth, whereas Jesus knew that clearly free agency was the most important thing, so that people could CHOOSE to be good and not sin. So there was a big spiritual council and a vote. And the one-third who voted for the Satanic plan of everyone doing good things while they’re mortal got cast out with him. I’ve always found that a little harsh. I mean, couldn’t they have just gently explained why free will is important for learning and growing? They all became the epitome of evil because they wanted to do only good? Huh??? Gotta love it.

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: Mormonism by jeff

jeff — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 21:03:02 +0000

I like how they even acknowledge that the founder of mormonism was known for his “tall tales.” Here’s how I imagine a convo back then went.

Normal Man 1: “Man, that Joseph Smith is always making up some crazy bullshit.”

Normal Man 2: “No kidding. You here what he’s saying now? That we all come from this horny alien Elohim.”

Mormon 1: Where do I sign?

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: Mormonism by Matt

Matt — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:32:19 +0000

Check this out. http://youtube.com/watch?v=AXOh4g_FLIM “There’s two types of Mormons: latter-day saints and latter-day aints!”

Comment on A world in peril: The helium shortage by Sara

Sara — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 03:49:22 +0000

Whippets are filled with nitrous oxide, not helium. So there is no need to worry about whip cream disappearing. As long as we have whip cream, than we don’t really need anything else.

Oh, and my favorite balloon animal is a snake. Or worm. They are the best.

Comment on A world in peril: The helium shortage by Charles Flinta

Charles Flinta — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:52:14 +0000

Helium is used in Neuro-magnetic imaging. The next time a docor tells you, or a loved one, you need an NMR, remember that this technology would not work were it not for Helium.

Comment on I, Creepy-ass Robot by jeff

jeff — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:19:09 +0000

don’t act like you don’t want one for your birthday

Comment on It’s Comcastic! An Open Letter. by lindsay

lindsay — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:32:19 +0000

Nick: The more appropriate questions we should be asking:

“Did you not get your hit off the crack pipe this morning?”

“Were you dropped on your head as a baby?”

“How many Comcast employees does it take to install internet service?” (open-ended joke to be included in email forwards and chain letters) (witty answers encouraged below)

Comment on It’s Comcastic! An Open Letter. by Nick

Nick — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:13:11 +0000

Lindsay and I’s smaller, but equally inept experience.

Moving from Ypsi to Ann Arbor, transferring service from one location to the other on June 1st.

June 1st. Service is successfully transferred and working at new location, Ann Arbor.

June 2nd. Service in Ann Arbor stops working. Call Comcast, and was informed they completed our transfer from Ann Arbor to Ypsilanti. Took 10 explanations before rep understood where we currently lived.

My question: How does this happen? Was it not in your records that you successfully transferred service the previous day? You had the date and addresses wrong in the system, but you still showed up the day prior and installed cable / internet correctly. Do you have two completely different operating systems?

Comment on It’s Comcastic! An Open Letter. by The Average Idea » Blog Archive » It’s Comcastic!

The Average Idea » Blog Archive » It’s Comcastic! — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:02:06 +0000

[…] Check out my open letter to Comcast over at Midwestern Gothic. […]

Comment on Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon by Billy Martin

Billy Martin — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:01:36 +0000

Hey!…I Googled for billy ray cyrus, but found your page about Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon…and have to say thanks. nice read.

Comment on That’s assault, bruthah! by Penis Enlargement

Penis Enlargement — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 10:11:27 +0000

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Comment on 5 foot ace of clubs by John Smith

John Smith — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 02:32:09 +0000

Nice, but I think it is sometimes not enough to get it complete.

Comment on Amy Winehouse Spurs Collapse of Third World by lindsay

lindsay — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:40:32 +0000

I just cried my eyes out for two hours after realizing that, with my purchase of her album, I contributed to the complete collapse and demise of third world countries.

Comment on Doggy style by Sara

Sara — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:47:25 +0000

I read this article the other day and thought of you. I’m glad you read it as well.

Comment on Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music by Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:02:58 +0000

Hi…I Googled for christina aguilera christmas, but found your page about Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music…and have to say thanks. nice read. Christina Ricci

Comment on Doggy style by jef

jef — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:41:10 +0000

yes, yes! a thousand times yes!

Comment on Doggy style by Nick

Nick — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:17:49 +0000

The true questions is…

Did he consumate the marriage?

Comment on That’s alotta fagina by Esther Baxter

Esther Baxter — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:15:19 +0000

Hello…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Friday . Esther Baxter

Comment on Happy Holidays, Jerry Falwell! by Classic Jef

Classic Jef — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:59:28 +0000

Thankfully, Al Sharpton has taken up his cause in Australia.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071115/wl_asia_afp/lifestyleaustraliachristmasoffbeat

Comment on Greatest clip ever! by Sara

Sara — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:59:03 +0000

oh my…ummm…I would think that he’ll get indigestion from that jet ski.

Comment on Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music by George

George — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:56:23 +0000

Bah Humbug! If you don’t like early x-mas music change the station. Encourage your friends to change the station. Be like a Pakistani lawyer and hit the streets in protest. This is America. People make decisions based on the potential of revenue. That infamous station’s ratings probably goes up once they move to 24 hour holiday hits. Good for them. Shopping season is upon us and Ad revenue is pouring in. Holiday themed pornography is probably flying off the shelves right about now. If 24 hour x-mas music starting in November is bad then what about A Christmas Story being broadcast for a 24 hours? Go buy XM and stop complaining. Your like a mother who thinks Hip-Hop is interrupting the growth of her innocent child. Listen Tipper, Nancy, Margaret, lets go watch Fred Claus this weekend. Vince Vaughn RULES!

Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year!

Comment on Garth Merenghi’s Darkplace by Robby

Robby — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:58:09 +0000

And that’s a deal breaker!

Comment on Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon by Miley Cyrus Picture

Miley Cyrus Picture — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 11:40:34 +0000

Hello…Man i love reading your blog, interesting posts ! it was a great Tuesday

Comment on Modern art at its finest by Robby

Robby — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:17:32 +0000

Consider it fixed…which makes your comment officially null and void. Sucker.

Comment on Modern art at its finest by Sara

Sara — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:57:20 +0000

Woman.

“The WOMAN in question” and “a WOMAN decided to kiss.”

heh…

Comment on Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon by Miley Cyrus Picture

Miley Cyrus Picture — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 03:24:44 +0000

Hello webmaster…Thanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts..what a nice Friday

Comment on Re: Re: Proudly Bleeding Green by Ryan

Ryan — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 23:30:57 +0000

It makes no sense to support a team that constantly loses. If anything, being a fair-wheather-fan is a trait found in genetic survivors….if in nature you are on the losing team, you die.

Comment on Re: Re: Proudly Bleeding Green by Nick

Nick — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:58:50 +0000

Just today, your post was brought to life.

A skanky, white-trash temp I work with stated (to myself and another Spartan who were talking about the game), “Don’t get mad at us because you always lose.”

Us?! There is no “us” between a Spartan and a Michigan fan who attends Jackson Community College. I will only accept “us” as a pronoun used to describe Michigan alumni or students.

I’m sick of justifying my allegiance to Michigan State (as a student) to people who are “Wolverines” simply because they win a lot and it’s easier to be on that side.

Comment on Re: Proudly Bleeding Green by Nick

Nick — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 14:26:24 +0000

Nick: Annie, why do you root for Lowell and CMU?

Annie: Uh, because that’s where I went to school.

Nick: Oh okay, did you know I have a degree from MSU?

Thanks for making my point.

Comment on Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music by Thanksgiving bulletin boards

Thanksgiving bulletin boards — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:19:42 +0000

Thanksgiving bulletin boards…

Many times, you will get bogged down by the excessive quantity of free clipart thanksgiving sources attainable….

Comment on Crazy? You haven’t even seen crazy yet: On being a Jehova’s Witness by Ryan

Ryan — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:08:03 +0000

The only certainty in life is that you will die. Period.

Comment on Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music by lindsay

lindsay — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:11:25 +0000

Scrooge you are.

Comment on Google: One step closer to complete world domination by disrupto

disrupto — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:04:49 +0000

GOOGLE -> we own everything, so you don’t have to.

Comment on Nick Rant: Premature Christmas Music by Megan Watson

Megan Watson — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:37:56 +0000

Hey there,

How are you sir? What is this website? I just pulled up your aim profile (cause I like to read away messages) and saw this link and here you are! What are you up to these days?

Megan
(from Mcdonell hall at MSU if you didn’t remember)

Comment on Google: One step closer to complete world domination by George

George — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 22:05:37 +0000

Google’s entrance into software for mobile devices is amazing.

There are plenty of competitors for Google to fight with; including Verizon, Apple, AT&T, Microsoft, etc. Personally, I would rather have Sanjeep design products to control my life than having to do it myself.

In addition, Google’s entrance into the mobile device market would lower the costs of the devices themselves. Google, if you look closely, will not charge phone manufactures for their operating system, and thus the savings gets passed on (I Hope).

My life without google would be close to nothing. I wouldn’t be able to look up the Greek Myth character Priapus (whose name is used to describe prolonged erections suffered from ED pills; Priapism), or determine where I can get some food poisoning from my local Chinese restaurant, etc. Google/YouTube has provided an alternate source for entertainment and information. I love out-sourcing my brain. I can’t wait for Google Earth to enter my hybrid station-wagon.

In conclusion: I have decided that for Halloween 2008 I will be GOOGLE.

Comment on Christina Aguilera: I’m pregnant; World: who cares by lindsay

lindsay — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 15:00:14 +0000

don’t hate!! that’s mah gurrrl

oh yes, i said it

Comment on Star Wars PSA by jef

jef — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:45:35 +0000

how about the fact that R2 doesn’t have lungs and can’t smoke

Comment on Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon by Miley Cyrus Picture

Miley Cyrus Picture — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:25:11 +0000

Hi…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Sunday

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Comment on Crusader for consumers or insane nut? by The Emerson Avenger

The Emerson Avenger — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:47:28 +0000

How about sub-moronic imbecile?

Comment on Weathermen: who are they and what do they do? by Jakki Degg

Jakki Degg — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 19:00:31 +0000

Hey!…Thanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts..what a nice Wednesday

Comment on Pirates?! What f-ing century is this, folks! by Freckles

Freckles — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:25:13 +0000

You definitely need to hookup your sister’s mascara…

Comment on Frivolous lawsuit or about damn time? by accutane lawsuit » Frivolous lawsuit or about damn time?

accutane lawsuit » Frivolous lawsuit or about damn time? — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 03:54:02 +0000

[…] headkicker_girl wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptForget about OJ Part II. The trial of this decade is happening in Lincoln, Nebraska. This is like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The plaintiff: State Sen. Ernie Chambers. The defendant: God. That’s right, God. The Almighty. Jehovah. … […]

Comment on Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon by Miley Cyrus Picture

Miley Cyrus Picture — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:23:14 +0000

Hello webmaster…I Googled for miley cyrus and billy ray cyrus, but found your page about Hannah Montana: Genetically Engineered Pop Phenomenon…and have to say thanks. nice read.

Comment on The sex talk by Kristen

Kristen — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:35:45 +0000

My father interrupted a Saturday morning of me watching Ghostbusters at age seven to pull me aside and say “No drugs. No sex. Got it?”

Flash forward to a weekend home during freshman year of college, en route from Mass with my mother, the conversation re-emerged as something like this: “I don’t know where you ARE, and I don’t want to. You know what happens if you get pregnant. You move home. We raise your kid and hate ourselves for being bad parents while you get a community college education. No one wants this.” The next time I mentioned a male friend, the response was “Can you just make an appointment to get on something?”

Public school was fine and went through the motions for years, attempting to prevent the girls who liked to party from getting knocked up. Nice try, CHS. The awkward parental encounters had much more impact, I’d say. Except as Dad interrupted Ghostbusters, I was mostly annoyed rather than taking him seriously.

Comment on The sex talk by Nick

Nick — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:16:10 +0000

I never had to endure the talk. My mom gave me a book called “Your Body and You: A Guide to Puberty”. My only embarassment was wondering if my parents read the same words I was reading.

I public high school, we learned everything. Putting a condom on a banana, plus alternative measures like spermicidal foam and diaphragms. Public schools don’t assume we listen to abstinence speaches.

On a side note, check out Tom Perrotta’s “The Abstinence Teacher” which was released two weeks ago. It deals with a lot of issues like what to teach your children and where God fits into the situation.

Comment on The sex talk by kimberly

kimberly — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:02:25 +0000

well when i was in Catholic school we also learned about contraceptives and how to use them but sex was condemded to the married and the damned

it’s a good thing that we had sex ed though b/c my mom didn’t talk about anything sex related or anything having to do with bodies
she just came up to me one day and told me that i shouldn’t be a “slut” and respect myself and my Catholic upbringing; and then she preceded to lie about how everyone i saw getting married on tv or in person was a virgin, “see keem, THEY waited…”

such lies