Midwestern Gothic

Let’s face it. In today’s conspiracy-laced, crime-sceney television milieu, shows like Lost and CSI: San Dimas (I wish!) reign supreme. Back in the day, in the television drama heyday (early-to-mid 1980s to mid 1990s), you could find dramas of every make and model from M*A*S*H*, Law and Order and MacGyver, to Love Boat and Magnum P.I.

Our panelists weigh in on two such quality shows, Quantum Leap and Pretender, deciding once and for all which of these two giants is deserving of the title of Greatest TV Drama of All Time.

Rob: See, this is hard for me. I grew up with Quantum Leap and, for most of my childhood/adolescence, there was nothing better than watching Sam Becket crisscross time and space, righting wrongs and trading quips with Al. That is until Jerod “The Pretender” came along and charmed himself right into my black soul. I mean…this guy was a real genius, doing real, practical things on a weekly, syndicated basis. He “pretended” himself in any role, always finding ways to…well, right wrongs…and did not rely on a quirky hand-held computer or a guy named Ziggy to figure out what to do next. True genius, my friends.

Matt: This is also difficult for me, but in another way. The choice is easy: Quantum Leap. The difficult part comes in when I need to justify it against Pretender. I think I watched one or two episodes of that show. I don’t remember anything about it. So, based on that, I can reasonably argue that it wasn’t good. If it was good, I would have watched it more. But Quantum Leap? That show was simply amazing. Not only did he have to get out of sticky situations, but he had to do so in the manner that whomever he had “leapt” into would do it. He had to become a completely different person and find a way to resolve an issue about which he rarely had prior knowledge. And all he wanted to do was return home. He kept waiting for the one leap that would take him back to his body in some lab in the early 90s. That’s got to be frustrating.

Rob: Frustrating? You want to talk about frustrating? Jerod “The Pretender” had an entire US government agency coming after him, always on his heels. I mean, the guy was abducted as a child, put into this specialty program, escaped as an adult, and all he wants is to see the world. To explore. And every time he starts out trying something new, phonying up some credentials so he can be an engineer in one episode, a pilot in another, for instance, it’s only a matter of time before the G-Men come a-knockin, spoiling his good time. At least Sam Becket could take his sweet time. Sure, he “misses home”, but what IS home, anyway? A true hero would do less complaining and more problem-solving.

Matt: Whoa whoa whoa! Sam Becket could take his sweet time? Is that supposed to be a joke? Did you even watch the show? How many episodes dealt with him having to save somebody’s life or even his own (that is, the person whose body he was inhabiting)? Since all of his leaps were to the past, many of these events had already happened. He couldn’t just stand around as another person, taking in the sights of whatever geographic location he happend to be living in at the time. He had to be on his toes, always on the lookout for what it was he had to do. Jerod never woke up to find himself in the middle of a Vietnam jungle fight. He never woke up as someone trying to help slaves escape the civil war-era South. Jerod may have had his troubles, but he knew where he was and who he was at all times and that counts for a lot when the heat is on. Sam had no such luxuries.

Rob: Luxuries? Ha, his entire life was a luxury. Trips to Vietnam, brushes with real historical figures? I mean, that sounds pretty grand to me. Pretty grand indeed. Anyway, let’s get back on track here: plausibility. I find myself believing in rogue government agencies and super serums over stuck-in-time story arcs any day of the week. I’m not saying I don’t like Quantum Leap, I’m just saying between these two shows, Pretender wins. Flat-out. Every time. I mean, he goes from pretending to be a bounty hunter to an EMS technician, even once admitting himself into a psychological asylum to remedy some issues he’s having. I mean, that’s an introspection that Same Becket doesn’t have.

I also hate Al’s suits. And their sexual tension is palpable:

Matt: I see you need to resort to cheap parlor tricks in order to make your argument. That video has nothing to do with the show. You could splice any show up, add some crappy music and make anyone believe it was never worth watching. That’s a low blow and I thought you had more integrity than that. I guess I was wrong. But the one thing I’m not wrong about is how great Quantum Leap is. Again, I wish I knew more about The Pretender so I could compare the two, but that will never happen. If the primary examples of Jerod’s skills are bounty hunting, EMSing and going insane, then I see no reason to ever watch this show. Give me Dog The Bounty Hunter, Rescue 911 and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and I’ll call it a day. Jerod = loser.

Rob: I’m just at a loss here. An honest-to-goodness loss for words. Jerod, a loser? No. He’s the PRETENDER, Matt. He pretends himself in any situation, and then pretends himself right out of it. I know a lot of losers. I used to be one. There was no pretending on my part. In fact, I’m willing to go on a limb and say that pretending is the antithesis of slovenly behavior. Jerod is a certifiable genius. We all know it. Now, I’m not saying Sam Becket isn’t a genius, I’m just saying he’s less of a genius, and that, without the help of a generally smart-suited Al, he’d be nothing, stuck in the 1960s as a preggers civil rights activist or something. Yeah.

Matt: There seems to be a theme running through your arguments: Al’s suits. I think you may be onto something. First, you say you hate Al’s suits. Now you describe Al as “smart-suited.” I feel you may have just stumbled upon the paradox of late-eighties-early-nineties clothing. That era’s clothing was one-of-a-kind in simultaneously commanding respect and inspiring hatred in everyone that laid eyes on it. I mean, just take a look at this:

Rob: Well, we’re just going to have to agree to agree on that. Smart-yet-ugly suits aside, these are great television programs, and both are way better than Two and a Half Men. Blech.

By Rob
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